It turns out the Internet’s flakiness here probably wasn’t the router, although that’s still up and down. I came back earlier in the week from being away at a Halloween party, to  a cold boat that had sporadic connection. Sporadic within seconds rather than minutes, which was the unexpected bit,

Picking up the ‘house phone’ I got not that low oooo, but something that might be fitting before the Radio 4 morning signal of Sailing Away—a wooshing wind sound but no phoning ability. I left a message—via mobile obviously—with PlusNet and they said they’d look into it.

I persisted in turning it off and on again. Then I thought about testing the extension—which is a basic lead from Maplins—which extends in this case from the bank over open water and through a crack in the door. So to test I unhooked the phone and went to plug it on on the bank. Except the plug is in a utility pole, outside like, and it’s night and I’m in my furry pyjamas—it also opens with a screw.

Upshot is I’m dressed like a fleece Wild Thing  with a stubby screwdriver and eventually look like I’m making a phonecall in the old west—handset cupped under chin while holding tight to a pole.

It isn’t working.

Still isn’t

Days at sea: 45

Rations: Marmite on brown toast

Stowed: The new Danny Baker autobiog. Fantastic. And some coal. It’s cold, did I mention that?